A delivery truck pulling into my driveway could mean only one thing. A package was about to be delivered to my front door and I loved having packages delivered. I quickly felt like the little red-haired boy in The Music Man. When the delivery truck came to his house, he was excitedly hoping that the package would be something special just for him. I hoped that day's package delivered something special just for me.

At the same moment the delivery truck arrived, the preacher knocked on my front door. As I answered his knock, I noticed two young mothers walking down the street pushing their toddlers in baby strollers. The neighbor man next door was washing the car while his kids burned off energy running and playing in their yard. Then I saw it.

The deliveryman hoisted a large cardboard box onto his shoulder and began walking to my front door. Giant-sized bold print, on the outside of the box, screamed to the world its contents. The box was my recent order of incontinent product in plain view for the world to see. I felt trapped and vulnerable as the deliveryman set the box on the front porch and waved a friendly hello. The ladies with the baby strollers, the neighbor man next door and his kids, plus my preacher suddenly knew that I have an incontinence problem.

Attempting to hide my feelings, I welcomed the preacher into our home. Yet, the unspoken truth of my incontinence hung in the air. My husband grabbed the box and immediately carried it out of sight down the hall. I felt embarrassed and angry because the secret of my incontinence was known. When the preacher left, I called the company who offered an apology concerning the highly labeled box.

Being incontinent is something that I did not choose and cannot change. However, my feelings are something that I can change and do. I choose to be thankful that I am still able to live a full and active life in spite of my constant incontinence. The absorbent products that arrived have helped me to be out in the community instead of being stuck at home. With disposable absorbent product available, I can go almost anywhere and still feel confident in my appearance … as long as I can find a nearby ladies room every once in a while.

No, I didn't mean to tell the world that I deal with incontinence every day, all day. My order was supposed to be shipped in plain wrapping/boxes. But what I learned is that I have choices in how I am going to react to situations like these. Anger, embarrassment and shame could have remained my choices, but those feelings only deepen the emotional pain of incontinence. By choosing thankfulness for the availability of incontinence products, I can more easily deal with my problem. I learned to understand that even incontinence can be my teacher.

I still get excited when the delivery truck pulls into my driveway and I still silently ask the question. Will it be something special just for me?

Until next time,